I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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