Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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