You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
