Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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