So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
