you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
