He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
