i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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