Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
