Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
May the power of my ass compel you!!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
