I think I am morally bankrupt
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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