Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
