i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
