You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
