Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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