I faked an abortion last night.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize