btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
