Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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