I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
well you can't waste a boner
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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