Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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