I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
