I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize