i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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