the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
