Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She said her name was "party"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
