38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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