She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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