I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
