At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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