I am puke
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
