Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
