and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
