She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
