I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
