my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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