she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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