so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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