chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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