I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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