And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
