I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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