I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
