do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
