Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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