wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
