I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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