you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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