why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
