if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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