is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
