hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
