Swine flu is the new snow day.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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