my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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