Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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