Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize