who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
